Adulting Design Your Life

Here’s Why I’m a BAD MOM

July 31, 2016

I have to admit it. Sometimes, I go to Target just to sit in the parking lot….in silence. Then, after I convince myself to go into the store to tackle whatever  is on this weeks’ “need-it-right-now” list, I drive home and sit in my driveway. For as long as I can. Before I re-enter. Not bad enough? There’s more. I’ve forgotten school lunches, gone to piano lessons sans homework, and packed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sent it to a nut-free school zone. My twins have swam without sun screen. My daughter has come home after swimming to a rinse-out – that’s me consciously deciding to shampoo her hair the next day. Hell, this morning – I let my son have pizza for breakfast! And, we eat LOTS OF TAKE OUT. I’m a BAD MOM. Correction: I am a BAD MOM who is doing the best I can, every damn day! Today, I saw the Bad Mom movie with my bestie and I could SO relate. It made me laugh, it made me tear up (I’m a punky girl), and most importantly – it made me realize that I’m not alone (so don’t YOU feel bad when your kid’s Halloween costume is not homemade this year!). See, we’re all really doing the best we can. And it’s not easy being a Mom. There’s no manual, no training, no test dummy. And the stress of knowing that some person’s life is literally in your hands – hey, that has Xanax written all over it! But, what do we do…..we keep pushing. We push as the kids bicker in the back seat to and from school. We push through endless after-school enrichment activities and birthday parties. We push through homework, and heartbreaks, and all of those tough conversations that we aren’t prepared for. My 6 year old daughter asked me tonight – “Who is Donald Trump? Is he going to kill Americans?” OMG.  We push through the loneliness of it all. Personally, I can’t tell you how grateful I was to have a quick salad with some girlfriends the other day. Motherhood is a job that I am never prepared for. It’s one I’m not qualified for. But, I was blessed enough to be appointed anyway (look at God!)!! So, go ahead and judge me. My kids are well-loved, and I keep them safe. They are kind, respectful and well-mannered. At the tender age of six, they know that I am their safety net and that I will serve in that role for as long as I am alive. They know that I love them unconditionally, and they know that I am proud of them and will support them in whatever walk of life they choose. So, I am going to keep loving my kids (and all kids) the best way that I know how. Their toothy smiles and unsolicited  “I love you’s” are proof that I’m doing OK. And in the end, if you think you are BAD MOM – it doesn’t mean that you are. It means that being the best mom you can be is on your level of consciousness. It means you care enough to keep trying to be better for your little ones, every single day. So try not to beat yourself up, Mom. You can’t mess them up THAT BAD.

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